Sorry if this sounds incoherent or stupid I wrote this from the hours of 00:36 --> 3:00
So whenever you feel an itch in most places in your body you go and itch it. You probably don't even think about it, but don't you hate it when you get an itch on your nose? Especially if you cant itch it right away and it slowly gets worse and more itchy the longer you don't scratch it. But once you do scratch it, its the best feeling in the whole world. Okay but what if when you scratch it your nose turns into a worse ugly fucking red, disgusting skin flakes drop all over the place, and when you scratch it too much it starts bleeding and looks and feeling like shit.
That's eczema folks (at least how it feels for me) and i'm writing this at 00:36 because I cant asleep because I'm trying so hard not to scratch my hands that have eczema all over it. For some reason when I apply Tacrominus Ointment after an hour or two it will do a good job of clearing it but holy fuck it will all of a sudden get so fucking itchy and it hasn't stopped. I usually apply it right before I sleep but I sometimes start scratching it in my sleep somehow (or maybe I just wake up but i'm too tired to remember) or it just feels itchy when I wake up. So I'm not really sure what to do at this rate. A friend told me I might be allergic but I should probably ask a doctor first and stop using it.
And when it does itch and i'm trying to not itch it fucking sucks when the itchy part comes with contact with anything since gives me like a millisecond of euphoria that makes me want to itch it like I have fucking claws and i'm trying to kill my prey that i've been hungry all day for.
What also sucks is that if you do itch it a little bit and then stop yourself it feels even more itchy. Its also just really hard to stop scratching once you do it especially after a long time.
What sucks is that I really struggle to keep my train of thought when it itches so I either scratch it and ruin and progress I made of improving, push through it (rare) or end up getting nothing done.
I have tried distracting myself by doing tasks that usually require my full attention like playing osu! but that doesn't seem to help at all either.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to even have it all across my arms or even on your entire body. That is actual torture that some wouldn't even wish upon their worst enemy.
I used to have bad eczema when I was a baby and a toddler but it went away pretty fast but then it came back on my hands when I started middle school. It also is usually worse during colder seasons since its drier and cold.
It seems like Tacrominus Ointmint is better than the other steroid cream i was using since the one im using now doesn't leave behind red bumps and doesn't make my hand feel like its burning for 5-10 minutes.
When my eczema is ugly and my hands feel bad because I scratched it usually doesn't affect me in most tasks and its usually with small things like trying to play the violin but it hurts and is hard to move my pinky because of the eczema. That can be solved by applying some Vaseline at least.
Honestly you probably didn't learn much from this but I cant fall asleep at the moment and I just need something to distract myself so I hope you enjoyed this. First time I have written an entire blog post on my phone which is interesting.
If anyone has any recommendations on how to make myself ignore the itchiness of the eczema or how to manage it better in general please let me know. I think a good first step is too change my diet a bit since I know certain foods can apparently trigger eczema like eggs and tomatoes.
The itching finally stopped at 1:45. NEVERMIND sike it didn't and at 3:00 I scratched the shit out of my hand and i'm pissed because now I just feel like shit. I don't think I ever feel like that much euphoria though. I fell asleep at around 3:00 but I had to wake up at 6 so my morning will be pretty shitty.
If anyone can tell me how Mark Zuckerburg turned into a lizard person or who I can contact, so I can shed my skin, that would be great or is that just something only elite billionaires have access too?